


The Demons of the Past

by OnlyJustAMemory



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 12:15:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14769431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnlyJustAMemory/pseuds/OnlyJustAMemory
Summary: She was tired of it all. Tired of having to constantly keep her demons at bay, tired of pretending everything was okay. It was exhausting, and that same part of her as before wanted nothing more than to give in. Maybe that would be easier, living in the darkness. She wouldn’t have to worry about morals or anything like that. She would be free.





	The Demons of the Past

Sara Lance couldn’t sleep. With all that had happened in the last 24 hours, it wasn’t really a surprise. Beating Mallus had taken all of her team’s strength and while going to Aruba had helped, learning that they’d opened the gateway to other demonic creatures didn’t. It seemed as if no matter what good the Legends did, there would always be a negative result of them saving the day. Hopefully this instance of their poor decision making wouldn’t be as bad as breaking time itself, but who knew. 

Unable to lull herself back to sleep, Sara pushed back the covers on her bed and stood up. Tying her bathrobe around her waist, she exited her room and headed towards the bridge. She didn’t know why, but she somehow always ended up in the captain’s office whenever she was restless. Not only did it have alcohol, but was usually also helpful at calming her thoughts. 

Tonight wasn’t going to be one of those nights, she realized as she sat back in the chair near the entrance. So many things were clogging up her brain and it was impossible to focus on one thing without another popping up. With a sigh, Sara poured a drink and surrendered herself to the pull of her mind.

The first clear thought she had was about the Legends. Her team, or to put it more accurately, her family. They’d gone through hell and back together, and Sara had no doubt that wouldn’t stop anytime soon. Her team was a magnet for trouble, despite their good willed intentions. It didn’t matter what great force of evil they’d stopped, the consequences always seemed to outweigh the benefits. 

Sara took another sip of her drink and leaned back in the chair. It had been a long journey since Rip Hunter had first recruited her. Every event that had taken place since had shaped her into who she was today. For better or for worse, Sara was a changed person. 

That didn’t mean she didn’t still have nightmares. Didn’t mean she no longer felt the blood lust creeping through her veins. Her days in the League would haunt her for the rest of her life and there was nothing she could do to stop that. But maybe, just maybe, old wounds could heal. They would leave a scar behind but that didn’t matter. Her body was already lined with them, so what was the harm of a few more?

Speaking of Rip, his death was still on the forefront of Sara’s mind. He’d sacrificed himself for them, gave up his life for the chance that time would be safe. Sara owed so much to him. If it hadn’t been for Rip, she would have never met her team. Never would have become captain of the Waverider, never have swashbuckled her way through time. It had be a hell of an adventure and she wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Rip had died an honorable death and Sara found herself being reminded of someone else.

Leonard Snart. He’d died a heroes death too, though he would have hated the use of that word. Sara still thought about him, wondering about what could have been. They’d seen each other, known that they both lived in a darkness they couldn’t come back from. Their back and forth thing had been nice for awhile and maybe something could have come out of it if not for his death. 

Then again, if Snart hadn’t died, then Sara probably would have never had the chance to fall in love with Ava Sharpe.

Ava was special. It didn’t matter that she was one of thousands, Sara thought the world of her. She was completely head-over-heels for the woman. Their relationship was still new, and Sara didn’t quite know what was going to happen next, but that didn’t stop either of them from loving each other. Sara felt genuinely happy with Ava, a feeling she hadn’t experienced for a long, long time. 

The rational part of Sara knew that she should be allowed that happiness. She’d survived so much and became a stronger person because of it. Yet, there was a dark corner of her mind that heavily objected. It reminded her that after all that she’d done, a monster like her didn’t deserve love. 

That feeling was hard to shake, even during the times when she felt the softness of Ava’s lips on her own, when she experienced the warm embrace of the other girl. It grew like a plague in her mind, infecting everything around it. Sara hated it, hated the way it darkened even the brightest of things. 

She was tired of it all. Tired of having to constantly keep her demons at bay, tired of pretending everything was okay. It was exhausting, and that same part of her as before wanted nothing more than to give in. Maybe that would be easier, living in the darkness. She wouldn’t have to worry about morals or anything like that. She would be free. 

No, Sara couldn’t think like that. She was done with that part of her life. A new page had been turned and while she still remembered the past, it was the present that mattered. 

Sara wished she had Amaya to talk to. The Waverider wouldn’t be the same without the other hero, as she had gone back to protect her village in her own time. The two girls had gradually become great friends, and it was an unspoken promise between them that they would protect each other. If that meant Amaya going back to her original home, then Sara would respect her choice, no matter how bad it felt to lose another member of their team.

Kendra, Carter, Snart, Stein, Jax, Rip, Amaya, they would all be remembered as legends (quite literally). It took guts to take on the entirety of history, something any normal person wouldn’t even think of doing. Then again, there weren’t exactly normal, were they? A bunch of B-list superheroes/vigilantes/criminals, only intended to be part of someone else’s backstory. They were outcasts and misfits, but in the end, that’s what made them, them. In all honesty, Sara wouldn’t trade her life for the world.

The sound of someone approaching broke Sara out of her train of thought. It was pure instinct to grab the knife she kept up her sleeve, but stopped herself when she saw who it was.

“Hey,” Ava said, leaning against the doorway to the office. “I woke up and you weren’t there.”

The director yawned, looking like she was about to fall asleep where she stood. Sara couldn’t stop the smile that crept onto her lips.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Sara explained. She tilted her head back and drained the last drops of her drink, relishing in the way her throat burned slightly. Placing the glass down on the side, she stood up and reached for Ava’s hand. 

The other girl happily took it, fingers lacing together. Together they headed back to Sara’s room, walking side by side. It struck Sara then, why she had been able to hold on for as long as she had. It was because she wasn’t alone, because despite her inner demons, the people around her loved her. They cared for her, treated her as one of their own. While love was the most powerful emotion, and even though that did make it the most dangerous, it still had the ability to mend hearts. Sara loved and that’s why she stayed in the light. 

With that in mind, Sara knew that she would sleep a little easier for the rest of the night.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this didn't suck?


End file.
